Unclear On The Concept
The Met office is now using fax machines to give local authorities
early warning of severe weather. The Hampshire emergency planning
office said: "Rather than having to rely on telephones, for instance,
where lines are at risk in bad weather, we are encouraging the wider
use of fax machines." (News courtesy of the Reading Evening Post)
GUIDE TO SAFE FAX
Q: DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE SAFE FAX
A: Although married people fax quite often, there are many single
people who fax complete strangers every day.
Q: MY PARENTS SAY THEY NEVER HAD FAX WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG AND WERE
ONLY ALLOWED TO WRITE MEMOS TO EACH OTHER UNTIL THEY WERE
TWENTY-ONE. HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SOMEONE SHOULD BE BEFORE THEY
CAN FAX?
A: Faxing can be performed at any age, once you learn the correct
procedure.
Q: IF I FAX SOMETHING TO MYSELF, WILL I GO BLIND?
A: Certainly not, as far as we can see.
Q: IS THERE A PLACE ON OUR STREET WHERE YOU CAN GO AND PAY FOR FAX?
IS THIS LEGAL?
A: Yes, many people have no other outlet for their fax drives and
must pay a "professional" when their needs to fax become too
great.
Q: SHOULD A COVER ALWAYS BE USED FOR FAXING?
A: Unless you are really sure of the one you're faxing, a cover
sheet should be used to insure safe fax.
Q: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I INCORRECTLY DO THE PROCEDURE AND FAX
PREMATURELY?
A: Don't panic. Many people prematurely fax when they haven't faxed
in a long time. Just start over, most people won't mind you
trying again.
Q: I HAVE A PERSONAL AND BUSINESS FAX. CAN TRANSMISSIONS BECOME
MIXED UP?
A: Being bi-faxual can be confusing, but as long as you use a cover
with each one, you won't transmit anything you're not supposed to.
Four major executives from various countries are playing golf
together on the second tee when they hear a phone ring. The
Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular
phone.
"OK buy 1000 Microsoft shares", the Canadian tells the other
person on the phone, then hangs up. He then says to the others,
"I'm such an important person that I have to make sure my employees
can reach me at any time. Therefore I carry a cell phone everywhere."
On the next tee, they hear another phone. All of a sudden the
American puts his finger to his mouth and his thumb to his ear and
begins talking. When he gets off the line he tells the others "I'm
so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index
finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry
about carrying a cellular telephone."
The people are impressed and move on.
On the green, they hear another phone ring. The German guy stands
up tall and says "OK sell the company now." He loosens up and tells
the others "I'm so important that I had my company put a microphone
in my lip and a speaker in my ear. That way all I need to do is
stand up stand up straight to get the signal."
Everybody is really impressed and they continue playing.
As the next tee they hear another phone ring. All of a sudden
the Japanese executive runs into the bushes. After a few minutes,
the others get worried about him so they go into the bushes. The
Japanese guy is in the bushes with his pants around his legs and
squatting as if to take a dump.
"Oh, we're sorry" the American executive exclaims, "we'll leave
you alone."
"That's OK," the Japanese executive says "I'm just waiting for a
fax."
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