Viagra Jokes

Viagra Jokes




What Is The Difference Between Niagara And Viagra?
Niagara Falls.



Viagra, official sponsor of Valentine's day.



  A new stronger variant of Viagra has just reached the market.
This one is capable of getting you a hard-on... even with your
own wife!



Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra?
A man took twelve pills and his wife died.



We're told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra 
overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business. 



  A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed
over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different
opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad." 



What Is The Difference Between A Jewish Wife And A Gentile Wife?
A Gentile Wife Says To Her Husband, `Did You Buy Any Viagra?'
A Jewish Wife Says To Her Husband, `Did You Buy Any Pfizer?'



What did Bugs Bunny say ater taking Viagra?
"It's up Doc!"



What do you get when you cross Viagra and Rogaine?
Don King



Why shouldn't you mix Viagra and iron pills.
Because if you do, you'll spin right around and point North. 



What's the generic name for viagra?
Mycoxafailin



  Renowned North American hot dog weiner maker, Ball Park Franks, 
has changed it's former slogan of "Ball Park Franks, they plump 
when you cook'em", after many years.
  I think they've taken it a little too far though. It's now, 
"Ball Park Franks, with added Viagra!"



  A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today.  Police have put out 
an All-Points bulletin:  Be on the lookout for hardened criminals!  
  They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely 
be sent to a Penal Institution. 



What do Viagra and Disney World have in common?
A one hour wait for a 2 minute ride. 



Did you hear about the guy who overdosed on Viagra?
No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get the cover 
of the casket to stay down.



Did you hear about the guy who accidentally swallowed a whole 
 bottle of Viagra?
He was up all night!



What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
They get taller.



What is the worst side effect of Viagra is for men???
Arthritis in the elbow!  



I hear they've made Viagra as a cream...
just apply and rub in for half an hour!
 


  Just heard that a UPS truck went into the Welland Ship Canal at 
Port Colborne, Ontario. Among the other packages was one containing 
a few thousand Viagra tablets.
  As the Viagra in the water went downstream, all the bridges went up.



What do you call a snake on Viagra?
ROD!



  A drug company has just invented a pill that combines the effects
of Viagra and Prozac - apparently if you don't get a fuck you don't
give a fuck!



  Scientists have developed a new pill that will now help impotent men 
who are also hay fever sufferers. By combining Allegra to take care of 
the allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it gives you an erection 
not to be sneezed at!



  Since the release of Viagra, exotic dancers now claim that they are
receiving a lot more standing ovations.



I dated a girl so ugly, she's used as a antidote for Viagra!



VIAGRA Chapstik? One way to keep a "stiff upper lip!"



  Bob Dole participated in the testing of Viagra, and has apparently 
agreed to do some promotionals for the drug.
  Possible content: "I didn't win the Presidency, but with Viagra I 
can act like I did!"



 I see sales for Viagra are way down. I guess all those old guys 
finally figured out that sex with an old woman is not worth $20.



What do you get when you mix Viagra and whiskey?
A stiff drink.



What happened to the Viagra user when he slipped on the bathroom floor?
He pole-vaulted out of the window



For the woman who wants a little more life in her middle-aged man, 
she should give him a Cappuccino Viagra an hour before bedtime.



I heard that one of the local persons poured a bottle of pills down 
the sink... now everyone in the area has hard water....



What happens if you swallow your Viagra pill too slowly?
You get a stiff neck.



SWALLOWED?! I've been shoving them down my peehole and I was 
wondering why it was so hard to get past the first six inches.



  I'm so depressed ... I went to the doctor today and he refused to 
write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting a 
new flagpole on a condemned building.


 
  A woman goes to a doctor to discuss her husband's impotentcy
problem. The doctor says just give your husband these viagra 
pills in his next meal and standback.
  The woman goes home and hands the pills to her cook who was 
preparing dinner for a dinner party later that night. The woman 
says to the cook, "just put two of these in my husband dinner 
tonight".
  As the woman walks out of the kitchen the cook thinks, sure,
like I got nothing better to do, and she throws the whole bunch
into the soup.
  As the guests were sitting down to dinner, the cook comes out
of the kitchen and advises the lady of the house that she must
speak to her in that there is a big problem in the kitchen.
  The lady of the house follows the cook into the kitchen and
demands to know what is going on.
  The cook admits to throwing all the pills into the soup and 
crys "I don't know what to do, the meat balls have doubled in 
size and the vermicelli is standing straight up".



INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY from a friend of mine:
  From time to time I speak with pharmaceutical sales reps who
come into my office. The other day a Glaxo rep told me of a drug 
that her company has under development. This drug sounds so 
promising that I want to suggest to my friends that they consider 
buying stock in the company.
  The drug is called "Ginkgo Viagra," and its function is to
help you remember what the fuck you are doing.



  Little Timmy is playing on the street when he spots a package of 
Viagra pills. Being a boy of the world, he immediately recognises 
the possibilities and approaches his daddy:
  "Dad, I just found these, and I'm willing to sell them to you 
for 100 Dollars straight."
  "Son, well, while this is a very good offer, I'm in perfect 
physical health and not currently needing those. Tell you what, 
go ask Grandpa."
  So Timmy walks over and asks his grandfather:
  "Gramps, I will sell you this package of Viagra for 100 Dollars."
  "Oh, thanks Timmy, but are you sure these will work?"
  "Gee, I don't know. But they do look like the ones that were 
shown on TV!"
  "Tell you what, Timmy, I'll try them tonight and if they work 
OK, I'll give you the money tomorrow."
  The next morning, Timmy visits his grandfather again, and Gramps 
hands over $500 without hesitation.
  Timmy is perplexed:
  "But Gramps, I thought we agreed on 100 Dollars!"
  "That's OK, Timmy, keep it, the rest is from Grandma!"



  I heard on the news a while ago, that a man who had taken Viagra
had an erection that lasted for five days - He eventually went to
the doctor about it.
  If I had an erection for five days.. the doctor would be the last
person I told, after telling the newspapers, the TV stations,
the internet newsgroups, and all the women I know, etc, etc, etc.




  Everyone knows what viagra is but you may not know that new and 
improved versions are in the works.
  Researchers from the University of Kentucky have come up with a 
nasal spray form of viagra which could work in five to fifteen 
minutes while 'normal' viagra can take up to a full hour.
  Quite naturally, this has spawned a flurry of creativity.
The following are the top suggested product names for the new 
Nasal Viagra:

  Rhinose
  Hornuhopia
  Niagra Rises
  Fix-A-Flat
  Tryst Myst (For the female consumers)
  Hornaplenty
  Pe-Nochio
  Summer's Steve (For the gay population)
  Nose Job
  Dick Vitality (For the sports inclined)
  Easy-Off
  Kama Snootra




  A lady walks into a pharmacy and asks, "Do you have Viagra?"
  "Yes, I do," the pharmacist replied.
  "Does it really work?" she asked.
  He kinda chuckled and said, "It certainly does."
  "Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.
  "If I take two of them," he answered.



    An elderly woman was pressuring her husband to take Viagra but he 
resisted and would have no part of it.  So, she figured she'd slip it 
to him on the sly.  The best way to do that, she figured, was to dump 
the entire bottle of pills in the well.  There hasn't been a result 
yet because she cannot get the pump handle down.  




Rejected Viagra Advertising Slogans

Viagra, For when you've fallen and can't get up!

Viagra, Like a Rock

Viagra, A Swell Gift for the Old Man.

Viagra, We bring good things to life
  
Viagra, Just Do it

Viagra, Turn your poodle into a pointer

Viagra, Melts in your mouth, not in your hands

Viagra: Tonic for a Stiff Neck

Viagra, Yes, it's $10 per dose, but the price isn't the only 
thing that's stiff.

Viagra, Liquid Wrench for Men

Viagra, Never having to worry she'll say 'Yes.'

Viagra, Where's the Beef?.

Viagra, Brushing Up on some Old Pointers

Viagra, A Sex Life You Can Hang Your Hat On

Viagra, The Pecker Picker Upper

Viagra, One-a-day, like iron

Viagra, Get a piece of the rock

Viagra, You've come a long way, Baby

Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em

Viagra, Tastes great, more filling

Viagra, built ram tough

Viagra, Just do her




That's Viagra
Sung to the tune of 'That's Amore', 
(with appologies to Dean Martin)

For retirees, where love is lacking, 
Where bald meets girth, here's what they sing:

 It's a real small blue pill
 but it gives such a thrill,
 That's Viagra

 When a pill in your mouth
 starts the rumblings down south
 that's viagra
 
 It's a 10 dollar pill
 for which some folks would kill
 that's viagra

Males will sing, ting-a-ting-a-schwing, ting-a-ting-a-schwing,
 and you'll swing Higher Fella
Hearts will play, tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay, you'll get laid well
     (Lucky fella)

When the pill's workin' good
 And your sproutin some wood
 That's viagra

 When you start to neck
 and you're surprisingly erect
 that's Viagra 

It will make it like a board
 And it's too bad I can't afford,
 That's Viagra.

When it drooped to your seat and now looks up to the feat, you're 
in love When sex was only a dream but now your partners screaming, 
Signore Scuzza me, but you see, when your a retiree, that's Viagra

 


  Gretchen asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast...bacon, 
eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Maybe some pancakes with maple syrup? 
Grapefruit and coffee to follow?
  He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the 
edge off my appetite."
  At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. A bowl of home 
made soup, maybe, with a grilled cheese sandwich? Perhaps a plate of 
snacks and a glass of milk?
  He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the 
edge off my appetite."
  Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She'll go 
to the cafe and buy him a burger supper. Maybe a fat juicy steak? 
Maybe he'd like a pizza delivered? Or a tasty stir fry that would 
only take a couple of minutes?
  He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the 
edge off my appetite."
  "Well," she says, "would you mind getting off me? I'm fucking starving!"



  While Pfizer had a lot of great press regarding the launch of Viagra, 
the male impotency drug, its marketing department has been working to 
develop its advertising campaign to boost its sales once all of the media
coverage has died down.
  While going through potential commercials, they realised that such an 
important medication needed a theme song to help its long term identity.
Here are a few of the top suggestions that came up in the meeting.

I am a Rock
  - Paul Simon

A Hard Days Night
  - The Beatles

Do That To Me One More Time
  - Captain and Tenille

Everlasting Love
  - The Bee Gees

No Ordinary Love
  - Sade

We've Only Just Begun
  - Paul Williams

Girls Just Want To Have Fun
  - Cindy Lauper

When I'm 64
  - The Beatles

I'm Your Gun
  - Alice Cooper

In Too Deep
  - Genesis

Big Bad John
  -Jimmy Dean

Here He Comes Again
  - Dolly Parton

The Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A.
  - Donna Fargo

Behind Closed Doors
  - Charlie Rich

In The Mood
  - Glen Miller

  

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer Pharmacuticals is bringing 
forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the 
performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving 
 on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask 
 directions when they got lost, compared to a control group 
 of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far 
 more likely to actually finish a household repair project 
 before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, 
 over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - 
 especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middleaged 
 men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a 
 new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects 
 extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden 
 urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after 
 taking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether 
 the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite 
 store's return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
 undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men 
 want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with 
 other family members.

FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal 
 gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled 
 for long car rides.

FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating 
 men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men 
 on Viagra.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men 
 in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal 
 affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three 
 test subjectsinto "special prosecutors."

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when 
 being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in 
 Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.



  With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem,
a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to redress
the balance...

MIRRORCILLIN - A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors
for up to four hours without pausing once.

STOPPANAGGIN - Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards
their spouse/boyfriend.

COSMOPOLIRA - Doubles female intelligence to almost simian levels,
allowing 'facts' in trash lifestyle magazines to be disputed.

LOGICON - Trials showed that females taking this were able to
follow a proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue
effectively without being diverted into non relevant postulates
such as 'you don't love me anymore'.

PARKATRON - 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse
park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 meters long; 54% achieved
this in under 15 minutes.

MAGNATACK - Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes
appear much larger than in reality - no practical use for this
drug has yet been found.

WARDROBIA - Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking
this drug can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42%
stayed within their credit limit.

BEERINTULIN - Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend
alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.

 

  An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the 
pharmacist for Viagra.
  The pharmacist replied, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
  The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
  The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."
  The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for 
sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far 
enough so I don't pee on my shoes."



A recent letter sent to the Canadian House of Commons:

My dear Prime Minister, former colleague and treasured friend.

  I write on a matter of personal and national impotence.

  As a senior citizen, aged veteran and former member of Parliament 
I wish to make the best of my remaining years, yet your government 
is allowing weeks and months to pass while our American cousins 
enjoy the benefits of Viagra.

  You cannot expect those of us who rigidly served our nation to 
remain silent. Speaking softly while we should be carrying a big 
stick is not in the Canadian nature or the Liberal tradition. 
Even our Mexican Common Market colleagues like Flacido Domingo 
have access to this miracle potent.

  I urge you, Prime Minister, not to stand limply by. Even former 
members have rights and votes. Perhaps the Honourable Member for 
Viagra Falls could introduce a members privates bill to speed the 
approval process. Someone must stick up for us seniors.
  
  I know it is hard being Prime Minister, but think of us back 
benchers.

  In unbending friendship, I am sir,

  Yours hopefully.

  Barney




Diary of a Viagra Housewife

Day 1.
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate.
When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the
bathroom and cried. Wussy.

Day 2.
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says,
and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me
something I don't know! I mean, gimme a break. He's been dysfunctional
for so long that he even walks with a limp.

Day 3.
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a
picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4.
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix
his 'problem.' It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra,
things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, 'this
time, I'd rather not have your mother join us.' I think this will work.
I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other
than his mood.

Day 7.
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they
were talking about him. Get over yourself!  Not everything is about you!
But, have to admit....

Day 8.
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing
the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. Sore as hell....

Day 10.
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much.
And to make matters worse, he's washing the Viagra down with hard cider!
The photo of Janet Reno isn't working. What am I gonna do? I feel tacky
all over....

Day 11.
The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue.
The other day, we were watching Kenneth Branaugh in Hamlet and he
thought it was "The Smurfs Do Denmark." Even my armpits hurt. He's a
nasty man.

Day 12.
OK, I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like going out with a
Black and Decker power tool. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the
bed.

Day 13.
I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying
'fabulous,' and still he keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become
dangerous ...

Day 14.
Now I know how Saddam Hussein's wife feels. Every time I shut my eyes,
there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile.
Let's hope he's not like ex-President Bush and takes 100 days to pull
out ... I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" butt-thing
again, I'm gonna kill him.

Day 15.
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started
dressing like a nun. Now he tells me "Sister Wendy" makes "Father Woody"
want to bark like a dog. Help me.

Day 16.
I think I will have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants
to... stiff.  With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket. I'm
starting to adhere to everything I sit on. The cats are afraid of him
and the neighbors no longer come over. Last night I told him to fuck
himself ... he did. He must die.




  The New York Times says that researchers have determined Viagra will 
help double the lifespan of plants, fruit and vegetables.
  "Plants aren't all that different from people," says plant physiologist 
Yaacov Leshem. "Viagra helps prevent aging and helps them stay erect."
  A few drops of Viagra dissolved in water helps decrease the emission of 
ethylene from cut flowers. It's ethylene that causes ripening and eventual
spoilage. Leshem says the only drawback is the cost of Viagra, and, oh, 
the possible effect on consumers who eat vegetables treated with the stuff.
  "Our recommendation for the time being is that Viagra only be safely 
applied to cut flowers. People don't tend to eat roses."



  Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park.
Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"
  Grandpa looks at him and says, "No Johnny, I will not."
  "But Grandpa, why?", asks little Johnny.
  Grandpa replies, "Because there is no sense in putting lead in 
your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."



  A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital. 
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
  "Feeling fine," says the old man.
  "What's the food like?"
  "Terrific, wonderful menus."
  "And the nursing?"
  "Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
  "What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
  "No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they 
bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. 
I go out like a light."
  The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to
question the Sister in charge.
  "What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 
85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"
  "Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him 
a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. 
The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling 
out of bed."



How to Tell if Your Viagra is Working

 At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at 
a meeting, the table floats.

 The paleness of your face (because of the lack of blood)--It's all
you-know-where.

  You begin to look at the dog with interest.

 You fall naked and face down on the beach and the point comes out in 
New Zealand.

 They confuse you with the duracell bunny

 When you come into a sauna, everyone stands up and applauds.

 You begin to think that your mother-in-law is pretty.

 You no longer need the TV remote control.
 
 You killed a passer-by with a button that flew off your new Levis.

 If you die, they won't be able to close your coffin for three days.

 They begin to call you "the tripod."

 The butchers look for you because they ran out of peperoni.
 
 You go out to sunbathe nude and (if you're standing) the birds perch 
on it to rest, or (if you're lying down) you look like a sundial.

 When you go camping all you bring is the canvas, but you leave the 
tent poles behind.
     
 Everyone lets you get in line in front of him or her in the bank, 
the supermarket, etc.

 Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar, compared with you.

 When you go to the kitchen in the middle of the night, you can
carry the glass of milk, the cookies, the napkins, the plate, and
other things that you couldn't before using just 2 hands.

 You always lose limbo contests

 Monica Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.

 You can make drawings in the sand at the beach without having to
look for a stick.

 You had them take down the ceiling fan in the bedroom because
you like to sleep on your back.

 


  This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get ready
for when his wife gets home.  He calls her on the phone, and says,
"I'll be home in an hour." 
  "Perfect," she replies.
  The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him to take
his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits. Well, and 
hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife? 
  She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible.  
I won't be there for about an hour and a half."  
  The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I
do?", he asks. 
  The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have 
a housekeeper around?" 
  "Yes" the man replied. 
  "Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?", said the
Doctor. 
  The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra 
with the housekeeper..."



I once tried viagra for fun
But there's one thing that it has done
I had a hard-on so thick
People thought that my prick
Must weigh nearly a tonne

Viagra can cure a 'small' prob
It turns my inch into a real knob
But my zip it has bust
From the trob and the trust
That women hang round in a mob

My sex life it has been rough
Viagra's some real powerful stuff
The girls do complain
As they feel too much pain
As I enter their regular size muff




  As many are aware, England has yet to approve Viagra. There is a 
rumor that that is about to change. The approval will be for a somewhat
different indication.
  The British will be inserting it much as they would snuff.  It will be 
to enable them to "keep a stiff upper lip."
Hasn't been approved?!  What's holding it up?



  It has come to the attention of researchers that a previously 
unanticipated reaction results when Viagara is taken along with 
Ex-Lax.  Both products tend to act together and magnify the 
effects of the other.  The end result is that you end up coming 
and going at the same time

 
 
Canadian Viagra Decision
  In a news release, the Canadian Dept. of Health rejected the
licencing of the drug Viagra for use in Canada.
  Three reasons for this decision were cited at the time: 
	1) Pamela Anderson is Canadian 
	2) Shannon Tweed is Canadian 
	3) Shania Twain is Canadian 
Swing! With women like that, Canadians don't need it!


 
  We've all been reading about U.S. airline pilots being barred 
from using Viagra on the job. 
  Isn't it interesting that a single drug could both augment and 
diminish performance in the cockpit. Is it only old goats like me 
that remember where the airplane "joystick" and "cockpit" got 
their names?



VIAGRA VALENTINES
Art Buchwald (February 10, 2000)

  Every so often I have to precede an article with the words, "I didn't
make this up."  Such is today's subject, which I did not invent.
  It appears that the Pfizer drug company, manufacturer of Viagra, the
happy sex pill, has a Valentine's Day advertising campaign urging women
to give their boyfriends Viagra instead of chocolate marshmallows.
  I repeat, I didn't make this up.  The company is not appealing to Bob
Dole or males waltzing at the Roseland Ballroom.  The Pfizer people want
young customers, many who may not even suffer from sexual dysfunction
for another 30 years.
  It looks like the Pfizer marketing people want everyone to get in the
habit of using Viagra, and St. Valentine's Day is as good a time as any
to get one's attention.
  The campaign does not say you need Viagra to live a better life.  You
need a doctor's prescription to get it.  But what the advertising people
are pushing is that you can't have romance without Viagra.  To make
their point, Pfizer has Cupid holding a Viagra pill in his arms in the
print ads.
  What comes to mind for many men is how does a significant other present
a heart-shaped Valentine box of blue pills to a boyfriend?  (So far, men
say they would rather have caramel chocolates.)
  "Here my darling George.  All I can say is to take one of these one hour
before bedtime and you will feel the earth shake."
  "But I'm only 23 years old.  Why do I need a blue pill to show how much
I love my better half?"
  "That's what love is all about."
  The great thing about Pfizer is they want everyone to be happy.  The
best way to dramatize their relationship to Cupid is to celebrate it on
Valentine's Day.
  The trade papers indicate that Pfizer is concerned that the competition
from two other drugs, Vacomax and Uprima, might start cutting into
Viagra's sales.  For a long time Pfizer had the market to itself.  It
wasn't No. 1 on the gift list, but it was coming awfully close.
  A marketing man from Prescription World said, "If you present your
boyfriend with a dozen Viagra tablets on Valentine's Day you are sending
him more than a message.  You are telling him how much you love him,
particularly if you get him a refill for the prescription on George
Washington's Birthday."
  There is only one concern. If things don't work out romantically should
you ask your date to give back the pills?
  Pfizer says they are working on the problem now.
  In the meantime, the drug advertising world is singing,
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    Pfizer will make money
    Whether you don't or you do.






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