Twas the Night By L. Daniel Quinn Twas the night before Christmas and poor Clement Moore Had his poem being copied by many a bore His "Night Before Christmas" is perfect in rhyme His rhythm and cadence are wonderfully fine. But then come the wise guys, with Internet cool Who use Clement's rhyme as sort of a tool They pick up the style from this poem of "that night" And they hitch up their sled to whatever's their gripe. Now I'm not even saying that there's something not right By using Moore's poem to carry a fight. I guess my complaint is not in their chore But the number of times they steal from Clem Moore. So I say to you all as I close down this gripe "Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!" |
Animal Versions | ||
The Bivalves' Night Before Christmas | The Day Before Christmas | The Night Before Catmas |
The Cat's Night Before Christmas |
School Versions | ||
The Night Before Midterms | Chemistry Christmas | The Week Before Christmas In School |
Night Before Christmas (Thanks for good Teachers) | 'Twas the Night Before Orals |
Jewish Versions | ||
Twas the Night Before Chanukah I | Twas the Night Before Chanukah II | Twas the Night Before Chanukah III |
Twas the Month after Chanukah |
Y2K Versions | ||
'Twas the Night Before 2000 | 'Twas the Night Before Y2K | Twas the Week After Christmas |
Twas the Night before Christmas, and at the North Pole, Santa's sleigh was packed tight, reindeer ready to go. When out in the snow, there arose such a clatter, St. Nick sprang from the can, to see what was the matter. "The Elves are on strike!" cried Mrs. Claus with disdain. "What shall we do, Santa? C'mon rack your fat brain!" Santa's face, it did sparkle, he shouted "Merry Christmas to all!" He dashed to the coat closet, And grabbed his 16 pound ball. Santa was laughing so hard, his stomach was rolling, "Come on old woman, it's time for elf bowling..." Yes, Virginia...There really is Elf Bowling |
Download and Play Elf Bowling (Note: 1.104 megabytes) |
Twas the Night Before Impeachment by [email protected] 'Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the House, Representatives discussed Bill betraying his spouse; While bombing began, cruise missiles in air, In hopes that Saddam soon would scare; The Iraqis were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of explosions danced in their heads; The Commander in Chief, has caused all this crap, From inviting an intern to sit in his lap. When out on the Capital there arose such a clatter, Democrats and Republicans argued the matter. Away to the window I saw I bright flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. Even at midnight, Capitol offices aglow Giving the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, Articles of impeachment, threaten Bill's career! With a little old driver, whose name was Hyde, Ready to impeach the man who lied. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, GOODLATTE! now, BONO! now, MCCOLLUM and STARR! On, JENKINS! on CANADY! SENSENBRENNER and BARR! To the House and the Senate! to Capitol Hill! Impeach! Impeach! Impeach away Bill!" As dry leaves that before the political winds fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, So up to the house-top the Congressmen flew, With the sleigh full of accusations, and Ken Starr too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on C-SPAN The Democrats defending the President again. I changed the channel to CNN, Attacks on Iraq, I heard them defend. The debates and defenses and politics rage, An embarassment is this country's history page; Confusing the issues is the rule of the day, This is much more than political play. The President's eyes -- how they twinkled! how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His deceiving mouth was drawn up like a bow, Every time he would speak, his nose would grow; His actions betrayed the trust of the people, Of defenses we hear, some are quite feeble, Many have urged Bill to resign, But he says this has never entered his mind. We listen to this mess on the evening news, No matter what happens, we Americans lose. Impeachent! Bombing Iraq, to show U.S. might. My what a Christmas. To all a good night! |
Twas The Inner City Night Before Christmas 'Twas The night before Christmas, And all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, So I took their stereo. |
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