Weight Insults
Yo Mama's so skinny when she takes a bath you have to tie a board
around her ass to keep her from slippin down the drain.
Yo Momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio
Yo Momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo Momma's so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
Yo Mama's so thin she could hang glide on a Dorito.
Yo Momma's so skinny when she swallowed a marble people
thought she was pregnant!
Yo Momma's so skinny when she was drowning the lifeguard
threw her a roll of Lifesavers and told her to put one
around her waist!
Yo Momma's so skinny she's the only girl I know with a
Cross-Your-Navel bra
Yo Momma's so skinny she got a run in her panty hose and
fell thru it
Yo Momma's so skinny she's a perfect ten - her dimensions
are 10-10-10
Yo Momma's so skinny she has to hold her bra up with suspenders
Yo Momma's so skinny she's so bowlegged, she looks like half
a doughnut
Yo Momma's so skinny when she drinks tomato juice, she looks
like a thermometer
Yo Momma's so skinny better bodies can be found at almost any
used car lot
Yo Momma's so skinny one look at her and you wonder if there
were any other survivors
Yo Momma's so skinny when she undresses it's like seeing a golf
club being unwrapped
Yo Momma's so skinny that when she makes love, it's like an
exclamation point in heat
Yo Momma's so skinny that if not for her Adam's Apple,
she wouldn't have any shape at all
Yo Momma's so skinny her day job is modeling for slipcovers
Yo Momma has calves so fat, they moo.
Yo Momma's so big she's been given her own statehood.
Yo Momma's so big, she don't have cellulite, she have celluHEAVY!
Yo Momma's so big, when she sweats people wear raincoats around her!
Yo Momma's so fat it doesn't look like she even has legs, it just
looks like she's gliding across the floor.
Yo Momma's so fat that she'd walk in front of the television set
and I'd miss three episodes.
Yo Momma's so fat that when she told me her weight I thought it
was a phone number.
Yo Momma's so fat her front door has stretch marks.
Yo Momma's so fat when they go to Japan, and the sumo
wrestlers cower in fear
Yo Momma's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
Yo Mamma's so fat, she wore a X t-shirt, and a helicopter
landed on her
Yo Mama's so fat after we had sex, I rolled over twice,
and I was still on her!
Yo Mama's so fat that when you have sex with her you have
to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.
Yo Mama's so fat that she uses the equator as a belt.
Yo Mama's so fat her blood type is Ragu.
Yo Mamma's so fat her car has stretch marks.
Yo Mama's so fat, she has her own zip code.
Yo Mama's so fat she has a refridgerator strapped to her
waist and it looks like a pager.
Yo Momma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought
she was backing up.
Yo Momma's so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo Momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo Momma's so fat we're in her right now.
Yo Momma's so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo Momma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo Momma's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.
Yo Momma's so fat she was floating in the ocean and
spain claimed her for the new world
Yo Momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around
yelling Free Willy
Yo Momma's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo Momma's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo Momma's so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu
and says "okay!"
Yo Momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"
Yo Momma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo Momma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo Momma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo Momma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo Momma's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo Momma's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo Momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo Momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she
SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo Momma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read
"one at a time, please"
Yo Momma's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo Momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo Momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo Momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo Momma's so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo Momma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo Momma's so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo Momma's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo Momma's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she
goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo Momma's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo Momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo Momma's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo Momma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour
and look for the wet spot to fuck her!
Yo Momma's so fat I had to take a train and two buses
just to get on the bitches good side!
Yo Momma's so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo Momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park,
people try to ride HER!
Yo Momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger
shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo Momma's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo Momma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo Momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo Momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo Momma's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo Momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo Momma's so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo Momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo Momma's so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo Momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo Momma's so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo Momma's so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo Momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo Momma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo Momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo Momma's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo Momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon,
it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo Momma's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo Momma's so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo Momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo Momma's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo Momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked
herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo Momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo Momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo Momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo Momma's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo Momma's so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo Momma's so fat she left the house in high
heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo Momma's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie
on the other side just to get her through.
Yo Momma's so fat when the bitch goes to an all
you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo Momma's so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo Momma's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo Momma's so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo Momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo Momma's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time
they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo Momma's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo Momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo Momma's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo Momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders
and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo Momma's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said,
"Who threw that rock?"
Yo Momma's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane
it gives her the green arrow!
Yo Momma's so fat that when whe was born, she gave
the hospital stretch marks.
Yo Momma's so fat the National Weather Agency has
to assign names to her farts!!!
Yo Momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't
have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo Mamma's so fat she eats out of a satellite dish.
I kept trying to leave her but I couldn't escape her gravitational pull.
She's so fat she could kick start a 747.
She's so fat that the last time we went to the Zoo
the elephant's threw peanuts at her.
Her Dresses are made by Barnum & Bailey.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she goes out there's a solar eclipse.
Yo Mama's so fat that when she goes to the beach she effects the tide.
Neil Armstrong landed on you Momma in 1969.
Yo Momma's so fat that when she goes skydiving she turns day into night!
Yo Mama's so fat that when the doctor diagnosed her with
flesh-eating bacteria he gave her six years to live.
Yo Mama's so fat she has smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo Momma's so fat she gets stuck in her dreams!
Yo momma's so fat she went to the beach and sold shade!
Yo momma's so fat she uses the swimming pool as a toilet!
Yo momma's so fat she uses a basketball as a hackey sack!
Yo momma's so fat that she keeps her extra change in one of her folds!
Yo Mama's so fat, she was kidnapped by a cannibal tribe...
They all died of cholesterol.
Yo' Mama's so fat that a picture of her would weigh 15 pounds.
You use not a bra but a hammock.
You use a bicycle built for two, but you are the only one.
Snap, Crackle and Pop are not breakfast foods, they are
the furniture under your posterior.
People tend to refer to you, alone, as the odd couple.
A police officer stops you after dusk and suggests you
ought to wear headlights.
At the time of your marriage, it took three relatives to give you away.
You are told that the only way you can be on the street
is with a parade permit.
You are the entire front row of your graduation picture.
You go to a Weight Lose Clinic and the owner beats
you to the front door with a sign that says "Closed."
Your mom's so fat she could hide a bowling ball in her cleavage.
Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks across the room, the radio skips!
Yo mama so fat, when yo daddy pulls her panties down
to the floor, they still got pussy in them!
If she were two inches taller, she'd be round.
She's never seen her shoes.
If she's in the water, boats try to dock in her.
Kids throw snowballs at her, they go into orbit
Yo Mama's so fat she bumps into people even while she's sitting down.
Yo Mama's so fat that after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Yo Mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Yo Mama's so fat if she weighed 5 pounds more she'd qualify for
Group Insurance.
Yo Mama's so fat she gets her clothes in three sizes
EXTRA LARGE, JUMBO and OH-MY-GOD-IT'S-COMING-TOWARDS-US!
Yo Mama's so fat they had to let out the shower curtain
Yo Mama's so fat that after she gets done turning around
they throw her a welcome back party.
Yo Mama's so fat that they can't take her picture, they
have to take her poster.
Yo Mama's lips are so fat they look like my ass sideways.
Yo Momma's so fat the back of her neck looks like an
eight-pack of franks
Yo Momma's so fat a car swerved out of the way to avoid hitting
her and ran out of gas.
That was not an eclipse, that was your fat mother changing her panties.
Yo mama is so fat, she's required to stop at the truck scales if she
crosses state lines.
Yo mama is so fat, she's been banned from visiting Hawaii cause their
afraid she'll cause it to sink.
Your mama's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed
2 episodes of Mash.
yo momma's so fat, she needs a boomerang just to put on her belt
your mom is so fat she makes a perfect burglar, her ass wipes out
her footprints.
The integral of your mom is fat plus a constant, where the constant
is equal to more fat.
Your mom is so fat, when she walks in the room everyone yells,
"Hey Kool-Aid!"
Your Mom's so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on
the scale.
Your Mom's so fat, when she rolls over in bed she burns her ass on
the light bulb.
Your Mom is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four
sides of the milk carton.
Your mom is so fat she sat in the back of a bus and made it do wheelies.
Your Mom is so fat, she gets in the bathtub and the neighbors'
toilets overflow.
Your Mom's so fat she has to use a parachute for a dress.
Your Mom's so fat, if she wears a green and white sweater, she looks
like a football field.
Your Mom's so fat, when I get on top of her I burn my ass on the
light bulb.
Your Mom's so fat, every time she turns, its her birthday.
Your Mom's so fat, it took 3 days to pierce her ears
Your Mom's so fat, she can take a shower without getting her feet wet
Your Mom's so fat, she orders all her new cars with washtub seats
Your Mom's so fat, last week she sank her rowing machine
Your Mom's so fat, not only does she have to take off weight,
but rearrange it too
Yo momma's so fat, I emailed her an ASCII hamburger, she printed it
off and ate it.
Yo momma's so fat, she put the "One size fits all" people out of
business for false advertising.
Yo momma's so fat, she leaned on the Leaning Tower of Piza and
straightened it out.
Yo momma's so fat, you can find more change in her rolls than in
your old sofa.
Yo mama's so fat, She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, Her ass has its own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, Her driver's license says,
"Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of
her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:
"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a
menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his
word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
How can you start a fire without matches?
Hold a piece of tissue behind a fat girl wearing corduroys.
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