Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world.
Japanese hotel room:
Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.
In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have
thrown in the bulk of their workers.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has
been played.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive sideways.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notice.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time
we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily
except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over
the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel
air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in
your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.
Sign in Japanese public bath:
Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub.
Second-hand shop window ad:
Used ladies and boys
Sign in a men's restroom in Japan:
To stop leak turn cock to the right.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regs (in English):
Guests are requested not to smoke and do other disgusting
behaviors in bed
A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
If You Wish Disinfection Enacted In Your Presence,
Please Cry Out For The Chambermaid
In the window of a Swedish furrier the message reads:
Fur Coats Made For Ladies From Their Own Skin.
The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
If You Wish For Breakfast, Lift The Telephone And Ask For
Roomservice. This Will Be Enough For You To Bring Your Food Up
A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
As For The Trout Served You At The Hotel Monopol, You Will
Be Singing Its Praise To Your Grandchildren As You Lie On
Your Deathbed.
The Sorrento hotel:
Contact The Concierge Immediately For Informations. Please
Don't Wait Last Minutes Then It Will Be Too Late To Arrange
Any Inconveniences.
Some German hospitals now display the sign:
No Children Allowed In The Maternity Wards.
The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athen's hotel reads"
If You Consider Our Help Impolite, You Should See The Manager
A London eaterie advertised for help this way:
Wanted: Man To Wash Dishes And Two Waitresses
A notice in a Vienna hotel urges:
In Case Of Fire Do Your Utmost To Alarm The Hall Porter.
Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish,
where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".
Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into
Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure.
Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".
Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following
in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.
In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin'
good" came out as "eat your fingers off".
The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free",
was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem,
you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and
empty".
When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the
same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby
on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies
routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since
most people can't read English.
Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue,
the name of a notorious porno magazine.
An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish
market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope"
(el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the
name into "Schweppes Toilet Water".
Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
We all know about GM's Chevy Nova meaning "it won't go" in
Spanish markets, but did you know that Ford had a similar
problem in Brazil with the Pinto? Pinto was Brazilian slang
for "tiny male genitals". Ford renamed the automobile Corcel,
meaning "horse".
Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada
as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means
"big breasts".
Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make
a "tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an
aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".
When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were
supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass
you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to
impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in
your pocket and make you pregnant".
The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke- la",
meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax",
depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters
to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko- le", translating into
"happiness in the mouth".
Three years ago, during a trip to Indiana, my folks decided to
show off their new "real" Mexican restaurant, named Chi-chi's.
Upon seeing the name on the marquee, my partner started to laugh.
My folks asked him why he was laughing, and he explained that in
Mexican Spanish, "chi-chi's" literally means "titties."
Probably the most famous of all is John Kennedy's announcement to
the people of Berlin, "Ich bin ein Berliner!" JFK thought he said,
"I am a citizen of Berlin!" What he *really* said was, "I am a
jelly doughnut!" ("Berliner" is German for "jelly doughnut".)
Some friends from England visited us a few years back. Their
teenage daughter got a huge laugh from the name of an airline
back then: The Trump Shuttle (Donald Trump's airline). They
said in England, "Trump" translated into "fart"!
No wonder macs are the best selling computer in Japan, Microsofts
Windows '95 ad slogan, translated into Japanese: "If you don't know
where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken."
The following are items found overseas in which people have
made inappropriate use of English words for various products,
and bizzare menu items in resturants.
Menu Items
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong
Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo
Prawn cock and tail - Cairo
Cock in wine/Lioness cutlet - Cairo
French fried ships - Cairo
Garlic Coffee - Europe
Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe
Boiled Frogfish - Europe
Sweat from the trolley - Europe
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Roasted duck let loose - Poland
Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland
Fried friendship - Nepal
Strawberry crap - Japan
Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam
Toes with butter and jam - Bali
Goose Barnacles - Spain
French Creeps - L.A.
Fried fishermen - Japan
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan
Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania
Product Names
Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues
Kolic - Japanese mineral water
Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer
Last Climax - Japanese tissues
Ass Glue - Chinese glues
Swine - Chinese chocolates
Libido - Chinese soda
Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink
Ban Cock - Indian cockroach repellent
Shocking - Japanese chewing gum
Homo sausage - East Asian fish sausage
Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels
Hornyphon - Austrian video recorder
Shitto - Ghanian pepper sauce
Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade
Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy
Superglans - Netherlands car wax
I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee
Zit - Greek soft drink
My Fanny - Japanese toilet paper
Colon Plus - Spanish detergent
Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent
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