CONFUCIUS SAY... The end of the day is near when small men make long shadows. Better to be pissed off than pissed on. He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand. It not sanitary when woman cook carrots and pea in same pot. Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long. Couple on 7 day honeymoon make whole week. Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip. Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honourable discharge. Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders. Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets, not feeling crazy, feeling nuts. Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face. Man who snort coke get bubbles up nose. Man with big mouth beware of foot. Man who fart in church, sit in own pew. Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion. Man who make love on side of hill not on level. Shallow woman like man with short temper. Man under automobile playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic. Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ. He who eat many prunes sit on can for many moons. Man with bitchy wife wake up with itchy trigger-finger. Man who sits on stool smells like shit. Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck. He who throweth dirt is losing ground people who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses. Man who screws hole in ground get piece on earth. Schoolboy OK to masturbate as long as it's not against Principal. Man who put cock in biscuit barrel fucking crackers! Man who fuck street people is fucking nuts. person who go to bed with itchy butt, wake up with stinky finger. Crowded elevator smell different to midget! man who pee through screen door, strain himself. Man with big penis no swim in shallow water. Woman who rides bicycle upside down have hairy crack up. Man who eats biscuits in bed have crummy nights. Man who let smile be umbrella always get mouthful of rain. Man who walk through automatic door sideways can get hurt He who laughs last thinks the slowest. man who stand on toilet is high on pot. man who put pea in soup is very unclean. squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts. baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk? Man who finger girl having period may get caught red handed. Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock. Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy. Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock. Man with no legs bums around. Man who pull out too fast leave rubber. Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard. War doesn't determine who's right, war determines who's left. Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache. Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed. Man have more hair on chest than woman - but on the whole woman have more. Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy. No difference between man and mouse - both end up in pussy. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house. Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk. Man with athletic fingers make Broad Jump! House without toilet is uncanny. He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser. Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy! Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out! It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed. Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring. Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money. Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink. Man who drive like hell bound to get there! Girl with little red bike peddle ass all over town! Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants! Rape no good, woman run faster with dress up, than man can with pants down. Man who sit on tack get point! Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new-key! Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man with one chopstick go hungry. Woman who wear G-string, high on crack! If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people. Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom. Woman who fly plane upside down have crackup. A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability. Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons. He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise. Wash your face in the morning, neck at night. Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down. Nail on board is not good as screw on bench. Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth. Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality. Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit. Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face. Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag. Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss. He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands. Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life. Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change. Confucius say a streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work. Confucius say he who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied. Confucius say he who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod. Confucius say epileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one. Confucius say man trapped in whore house get jerked around. Confucius say virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick. Confucius say man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off. Confucius say man who go to bed with diarrhea wake up in deep shit. Confucius say man who pulls on woman's bra-strap may get bust in mouth. Confucius say man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time. Confucius say man who lay woman on ground have peace on earth. Confucius say man who takes lady on camping trip have one intent. Confucius say man with penis in peanut butter jar, fucking nuts. Confucius say when lady say no, she mean maybe. When lady say maybe, she mean yes. When lady say yes, she no lady! Confucius say it is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl. Confucius say naked man fear no pickpocket. Confucius say waitress who sit on leper's lap, keep tip. Confucius say cow with no legs, ground beef. Confucius say two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn. Confucius say bird in hand, make difficult to blow nose. Confucius say finding old man in dark, not hard. Confucius say man who smoke pot, choke on handle. Confucius say sailor who get discharged from navy, leave buddies behind. Confucius say woman who put detergent on top shelf, jump for joy. Confucius say man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self. Confucius say man who put cream in tart, not always baker. Confucius say man who let woman on top, fucking up. Confucius say sex on beach like American beer-fucking near water. Confucius say man like baby-want to suck tit all day. Confucius say man who masturbate, only screwing himself. Confucius say man piss in wind, wind piss back. Confucius say support bacteria-is only culture some people have. Confucius say he who eats too many jelly beans, farts in living colour!! Confucius say no man is island, but some women are whales. Confucius say he who have last laugh, not get joke. Confucius say man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet. Confucius say he who outruns the cheetah is fucking fast on his feet. Confucius say all men eat, but Fumanchu. Confucius say wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn. Confucius say man who eat pussy, do lip service. Confucius say man with tool in womans mouth, not necessarily dentist. Confucius say girl who marry detective, like to kiss dick. Confucius say fly who sit on toilet seat, get pissed off. Confucius say man who throw away watch, wasting time. Confucius say man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor. Confucius say man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose. Woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills. Confucius say never trust man with short legs. Brains too near bottom. Confucius say soldier who go to bed horny, wake with dishonourable discharge. Confucius say woman who slide down banister, make monkey shine. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk. Hockey player on ice have big stick. Girls should not marry basketball players because they always dribble before they shoot. It take square ass to shit brick. Man who screws near graveyard is fucking near dead. Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end. Boy who plays with himself pulls boner. Man who run behind car, get exhausted Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly. Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails. Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it." Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!" Man who lives in glass house should change in basement" He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs." Confucius say too fucking much!!! |
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