Clinton Parodies

Clinton Parodies



Washington Hillbillaries
Sung to the Beverly Hillbillies tune 

Come 'n listen to my story 'bout a man named Bill
He never told the truth and doubt he ever will
Then one day, when he was down in Arkansas
He looked at DC and he liked what he saw

Cash that is! Money! Lotsa dough!

Well the next thing ya know, Bill's the President
While we all wondered where our money went
Hillary said we really fooled them all
But it looks like they're in for a mighty big fall

Jail that is! The Big House! Indictment

Now let's say goodbye to Bill and all his kin
They'd like to thank donors fer kindly droppin' in.
You're invited back again to this locality,
They will sell you more of their hospitality.

If you're rich, that is! Set a spell, Take your shoes off!
Y'all come back, here!




 
The Shady Bunch
(to "The Brady Bunch" theme song)

Here's the story,
of a First Lady,
who was fighting off three very naughty girls.
All of them have had Her Man, 
like the others,
the youngest one...oral.

It's the story, 
of a man Slick Willy,
who was busy with three sharks of his own.
They were four men, 
dodging each other,
over a land deal blown.

Till the one day when Lewinsky met this fellow
and they lied about the times He was her Lunch,
then this group, it somehow became scandle.
That's the way they all became The Shady Bunch.

The Shady Bunch...
The Shady Bunch...
That's the way... 
they became... 
The Shady Bunch!





The Bill Clinton version: My Favorite Things
"Things" from the movie "The Sound of Music"

Lying 'bout land deals in backwater places,
Big Macs and french fries and girls with big faces,
Lots of nice cleavage makes a President Sing,
That these are a few of my favorite things

Susan McDougal and Gennifer Flowers,
Eager young interns who while 'way the hours,
The Profits from futures that Hillary brings,
These are a few of my favorite things

When Paula Jones bites,
When Ken Starr stings,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad

Beating the draft board and getting elected,
Appointing to judgeships some hacks I've selected,
Conspiracy theories that blame the right wing,
These are a few of my favorite things

Golfing with Vernon and suborning perjury,
Falling down drunk that required knee surgery
Stars in the White House who come here to sing,
These are a few of my favorite things

Meeting with Boris and Helmut and Tony,
States of the Union with lots of baloney,
Winning debates and the joy of my flings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

original parody by Wayne Aaronson
(edited for radio.)
 




Hush Up Little Monica
(To the tune of 'Hush Little Babies')

Hush little Monica, don't you cry.
We're not saying that you have to lie.

But if you don't keep your big mouth shut,
We'll publicly embarrass you, ya little slut.

Why is oral sex causing such a mess?
Now where the hell is that spot on your dress.

And if that dress you won't surrender,
In exchange for lots of what's legal tender,

Someone might turn up on a nice steel slab,
Or perhaps there'll be a fire at the Cellmark Lab.

But if I can't get all of my DNA back,
I guess it's time to start a war with Iraq.





"Bomb Iraq"
Sung to the tune of "Barbara Ann."
With apologies to the Beach Boys.

A bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb
Oh bomb Iraq, I've been getting flack so

Chorus:
Bomb Iraq
(Bomb bomb Iraq)
If it'll get the press off Monica
Then go ahead and bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iraq

She's cute I guess, gave her a nice dress
Got oral sex, but somebody told the press so

Bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb

(Chorus)

Say bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb

(Chorus)

Tried telling lies
Tried bribing spies
Tried eating fries but the press just swarm like flies so
Bomb Iraq, bomb bomb bomb

(Chorus)

Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iraq
Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iraq

(Chorus)

Bomb Iraq
Bomb Iraq





Do you remember the song that Olivia Newton John and 
John Travolta sang near the beginning of the musical 
"Grease" called "Summer Lovin"?  Well here's...

               "White House Lovin"
         (To the tune of "Summer Lovin'")
 
 Bill:     "Summer intern, had me a blast"
 Monica:   "White house intern, happened so fast"
 Bill:     "Met a girl, crazy for me"
 Monica:   "Met the prez, down on my knees"
 Bill:     "Summer days, sucking away, but oh those summer nights"
 
 Investigation Committee:  "Well, ah.. well, ah....well, ah. uh
                           Tell us more, tell us more"
 Linda Tripp:   "try to remember your best"
 Investigation Committee:   "Tell us more, tell us more"
 Kenneth Star:  "Did he come on your dress?"
 
 Bill:    "Wanted to screw her but she had a cramp"
 Monica:    "The prez is sexy - he makes my panties damp"
 Bill:    "She gave me head, right in the White House"
 Monica:     "I said OK, just don't come in my mouth:
 
 Investigation Committee:  "Well, ah.. well, ah....well, ah.
 Tell us more, tell us more"
 Linda Tripp:  "he sounds like a swell guy"
 Investigation Committee:  "Tell us more, tell us more"
 Kenneth Star:   "Did he tell you to lie?"
 
 Bill:       "Press found out, it turned into a mess"
 Monica:     "He gave me fifty bucks to buy a new dress"
 Bill:       "She promised to lie, she made a vow"
 Monica:     "Wonder who is servicing him now"
 
 Bill & Monica:  "Sex filled dreams, ripped at the seams
                         But.........oh





The Slick Willybillies
(To the Beverly Hillbillies opening theme song)

Let me tell you a little a story about a man named Bill,
The poor president couldn't keep his willie still,
Then one day while doing nothing wrong,
A pizza bearing intern came and flashed the prez her thong...

It was was a full moon, she butted right in.

Well the next thing you know, Monica's on her knees,
Mouth open wide just as happy as you please,
Bill says, "oh yeah! Now don't say a thing,"
"If you keep it real quiet we can have a little fling."

Oral Sex, that is.  Phallic Mastication.

Well, Bill left his DNA upon her dress,
He said, "Clean it up, 'cuz you really are a mess,
And you're invited back to this fine locality,
To have a heapin' helpin' of little Willie C."

On the presidential staff. The Executive branch.

So week after week, Monica is on her knees
Keepin' Willie and his Wiener just as happy as can be,
But then she figured out that the fling had gone too far,
she blabbed to Linda Tripp and then to Kenneth Starr.

This girl's gums just never stop a flapping..

Well it wasn't very long until we all knew the score,
About what went down behind the oval office doors,
The country's in the toilet and the people cry, "No More"
But if we oust the cheatin' jerk, we gotta live with Gore.

Tree hugging Al Gore the Bore. The other stiff one in the White House.

So now you know the story about Bill the president,
Wondering if this fling's gonna cost him every cent;
So the moral of the story is to do it quietly,
And stay outta trouble with that witch named Hillary.





 New Oscar Mayer song:

 His baloney has a first name,
 It's "I-did-not-inhale."
 His baloney has a second name,
 "I-wasn't-getting-tail."
 He loves to sling it every day....
 The White House people all just saaaaaaaay....
 That Billy Clinton has-a-way
 Of mak-ing bullshit sound o-kay




 
Mr Starr:
  I am Starr. Starr I are.
  I'm a brilliant barri-star.
  I'm here to ask, as you'll soon see,
  Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky?
  Did you grope her in your house?
  Did you grope beneath her blouse?
  Did she give you gifts and ties?
  Were you spied by prying eyes?

Mr Clinton:
  I did not do that here or there!
  I did not do that anywhere!
  I did not do that in a chair!
  I went not near her giant hair!
  I did not join-even for fun,
  The Mile High Club in Air Force One,
  So stow your feathers and your tar,
  I did not do her Starr you are!

Mr Starr:
  Did you smile?
  Did you Flirt?
  Did you peek beneath her skirt?
  And did you tell the girl to lie,
  When called upon to testify?

Mr. Clinton:
  That is it, you've gone too far!
  I do not like you Starr you are!
  I will not answer any more!
  In fact, I think I'll start a war!
  The public's easy to distract,
  When bombs are falling on Iraq!




 
"President Clinton's Testimony" 
Apologies to Dr. Seuss

I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park
 
      I did not do it on a date
      I did not ever fornicate
      I did not do it at a dance
      I did not do it in her pants

I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face
I never did it in a bed
If you think that, you've been misled

      I did not do it with a groan
      I did not do it on the phone
      I did not cause her dress to stain
      I never boinked Saddam Hussein

I did not do it with a whip
I never fondled Linda Tripp
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey

     There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
     I chased her 'round, but could not catch her
     No kinky stuff, not on your life
     I wouldn't, even with my wife

And Gennifer Flowers' tale of woes
Was paid for by my right-wing foes
And Paula Jones, and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poopers

     I did not ask my friends to lie
     I did not hang them out to dry
     I did not do it last November
     But if I did, I don't remember

I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don't recall
I never did it in my study
I never did it with my dog, Buddy

     I never did it to Sox, the cat
     I might have -- once -- with Arafat
     I never did it in a hurry
     I never groped Ms. Betty Currie

There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal

     But never did these things so lewd
     At least, not ever in the nude
     These things to which I have confessed
     They do not count, if we stayed dressed

It never happened with cigar
I never dated Mrs. Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN

     I broke some rules my Mama taught me
     I tried to hide, but now you've caught me
     But I implore, I do beseech
     Do not condemn, do not impeach

I might have got a little tail
But never, never did inhale.




 
Bill's Friends
to the tune A Little Help From My Friends

What will they think when her case goes to court?
Will my supporters walk out on me?
When James Carville called Paula "trailer park trash"
Did it cause a backlash against me?

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Get high with a little help from my friends
Gonna try with a little help from the friends

What do I do when my friends go to jail?
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel when my friends start to bail?
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Get high with a little help from my friends
Gonna try with a little help from the friends

Do you need anybody? (I think I need some new friends)
Could it be anybody? (Think I need some new friends)

Don't you believe in doing what's right?
(Yes, I do so most of the time)
Don't you worry about your friends' plight?
(Only that it's not gonna be mine)

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Get high with a little help from my friends
Gonna try with a little help from the friends

Do you need anybody? (I think I need some new friends)
Could it be anybody? (Think I need some new friends)
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Get high with a little help from my friends
Gonna try with a little help from the friends
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends?

Spoken: Sheesh, who needs enemies?




 
Horny Fellow
to the tune Mellow Yellow

Bill's just mad about interns
Interns mad about Bill
Bill's just mad about interns
Interns mad about Bill

[Refrain:]
Bill's such a horny fellow
(Quite rightly)
Bill's such a horny fellow
(Quite rightly)
Bill's such a horny fellow

Bill's just mad at that Ken Starr
Ken Star's mad at that Bill
Bill's just mad at that Ken Starr
Ken Star's mad at that Bill

[Refrain:]

Just why He has to lie
Don't understand that Bill
Such a guy he forever lies
His truthful factor is a nil

[Refrain:]

(That fellow, horny fellow)

Bill is the top banana
He blames Monica for his craze
Bill is the top banana
Says he was just going through a phase

Bill is a horny fellow
(Quite rightly)
Bill's such a horny fellow
(Quite rightly)
Bill's such a horny fellow

Interns -- yeah
Bill's just mad about them
Bill's just mad about interns
They're just mad about Bill

[Refrain:]

(Horny fellow, horny fellow)




 
Sex On the Phone
to the song Bad to the Bone

On the day I was born The nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder At the creep they had found
The head nurse spoke up And she said leave this one alone
She could tell right away That I'd have sex on the phone
Sex on the phone Sex on the phone S-S-S-S-Sex on the phone
S-S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-S-Sex Sex on the phone

I made a thousand calls Before I met you
I'll make a thousand more Baby Before I am through
I wanna be President my friends And live in this home
I'm here to tell ya people I love sex on the phone
Sex on the phone S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-Sex Sex on the phone

SOLO

I make all of my staff lie And it's just truly unreal
I was having a great time Until that Monica squealed
I wanna be President my friends And live in this home
I'm here to tell ya people I love sex on the phone
S-S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-S-Sex Sex on the phone

SOLO 2

And when I walk the streets the good girls run and hide
Because if they are smart They all know that I've lied
I wanna tell all of the people That I will never atone
I'm here to tell ya people I love sex on the phone
Sex on the phone S-S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-Sex S-S-S-Sex Sex on the phone





Donor Sleeps Tonight
Sung to the tune: The Lion Sleeps Tonight

In the bedroom,
the Lincoln Bedroom
A donor sleeps tonight
In the bedroom,
the Lincoln Bedroom
A donor sleeps tonight!

[Chorus:]

Oh, weeeeeeee! We need more money from you all!
Oh, weeeeeeee! We need more money from you all!

Now the White House,
the mighty White House
has become a Motel 6
Now the White House,
the mighty White House
has become a Motel 6!

[Chorus:]

Hush my critics,
don't fear my critics
You know I can't be bought
Hush my critics,
don't fear my critics
At least I won't get caught!

[Chorus:]

Remember the White House
is Hillary's and my house
It belongs to the President
Remember the White House
is Hillary's and my house
If we want, we can charge rent!

[Chorus:]




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